Do You Have Atelophobia?

There’s a fear which many high-achieving women carry without even knowing it has a name: ATELOPHOBIA.

It’s the fear of imperfection.

The fear of not being good enough.

And it drives us into overthinking, exhaustion, and self-doubt.

For instance, have you ever:

• worked on a presentation for weeks – late nights, endless edits, rehearsing until every word was perfect… or

• created a document, resource, lead magnet, and perfected – but never launched it… or

• started posting on social media, sharing stories, putting yourself out there… but after little engagement, you disappeared out of shame that maybe it wasn’t good enough?

If this feels (uncomfortably) familiar then rest assured, this isn’t just because you were ‘born this way’.

It could be Atelophobia - the fear of not being good enough.

But it’s not just about ‘perfectionism’, it’s actually a deep, unconscious fear of being judged or rejected if you (or the “thing” you’re working on) isn’t perfect.

We currently live in a world where it doesn’t feel safe to be imperfect, so it can block our courage to even try things in the first place.

Psychologists define atelophobia as a type of anxiety disorder: 

"A persistent, irrational fear of imperfection that interferes with daily life."

Unlike typical perfectionism, it’s rooted in fear, not standards.

It can stem from childhood experiences where love, approval, or rewards from adults (or people we looked up to, such as teachers) were tied to needing to “be the best” or “doing it right.” 

From a young age we’ve been judged.

• Judged for being a good girl, or bad girl.

• Judged for getting good grades, or bad grades.

• Judged for doing things right, or wrong.

• And then there’s the comparison to others (classmates or siblings or women in your network) Eeesh… that’s tough.

One of my clients, Hannah, remembers an adult saying to her: “If you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all!”

This fear of not being good enough can then follow us into adulthood.

Studies from the Cleveland Clinic notes that this fear is strongly linked to chronic stress, reduced performance, and emotional burnout.

So there is no wonder why you may be feeling exhausted… even as you achieve more!

This reminds me of my client Jessica who came to me paralysed with anxiety from her own potential.

She was great at what she did but she was over-delivering, over-preparing, over-extending herself and therefore overwhelmed!

In one of our sessions together we traced it back to a moment as a child: “Make sure you do well otherwise you won't get nice things.”

This comment was meant to be encouraging to young Jessica, but it instilled fear.

That sentence embedded a belief: “I must be perfect to be loved.”

We went to work and shone the light on where adult Jessica’s incessant need for perfectionism and her drive to overachieve came from.

Together we alchemised that experience using strategies which shifted her stuck energy, fast.

Her anxiety melted.

Her face softened.

She felt so much lighter. Happier.Over the next few sessions, Jessica began to feel comfortable taking imperfect action – aaaand feel carefree about it!

Progress, not perfection.

As a coach working with high-performing women, I see this pattern often:

• big achievements - yet never feeling proud.

• credibility - yet still feeling like a fraud.

• hardworking - yet always over-preparing

This is Atelophobia in disguise.

All in an effort to hide that deeper thought of ‘What if I’m still not enough?’

(And this is coming from a perfectionist herself, who has edited this piece many times over!).

What I’ve learned is this:

• You can’t out-achieve a belief that says you aren’t worthy (this will keep you feeling frustrated and doubting yourself)

  
  

• You can’t out-work the need to prove you deserve your place (this will make you burnout!)

But you can unhook from it!

In my coaching work, I hold space for the women who are tired of not feeling good enough and therefore becoming ‘exhausted perfectionists’.

So if any part of this resonated with you and you need help to move through this crunchy feeling - let's connect, so that you can step up and become a happier more empowered version of yourself!

Jen Gautier

Development Coach | Mindset Mentor & Emotional Freedom Coach

MakeShiftHappen.co.nz